I owe you a huge apology.  We should have had this conversation a long time ago.  I don't know what I was thinking!  I really should have mentioned this to you already.  But I didn't; and its never too late to start making good decisions.  So, let's talk.  Just let me know if you disagree and we'll dialogue about it.

Did you know that people tend to attract people who are like them?  For example, if you are a happy and fortunate person, then you probably have friends that are cheerful and a little well off.  If you are a drug dealer, then your friends are probably either drug dealers or drug abusers.  If you are a Christ fan, then your friends will probably love Christ too.

Sometimes, we tend to attract opposites but if you look closely, there is usually a pattern that has you and your opposite on the same track.  I mean, you may be a night hawk and your best friend is a morning star, but when you consider everything, you probably have notable similarities, like nurturers or activists or humanitarians.  For example, you may be 20 and your friend may be 40, but you both are experts on leap frogs or paper clips or computers or semiconductors.

Okay, let’s stop right here and define what a friend is.  I’m not talking about your friendly associates.  I’m talking about those people that you both like and love; someone whom you will go to war with; and you will go to war for that person; someone that you have a strong relationship with; a relationship that has endured the test of time.  I’m not talking about the person you met last month and you both like red Air Jordans so that makes ya’ll important to each other.

Dig deep inside yourself and think about this because your very life depends on this small lesson.  You are like a mirror and your friends are like your reflections.  If you are crippled, angry and broken; you will probably attract a mate who is wounded also.  If you are an airplane pilot, you will attract someone who can think as intricately as you do and if you marry a housewife, then chances are good that you will cheat with someone who is as exciting as you.  If you see the whole world daily and your spouse can only talk about dirty diapers, that spouse will be uninteresting to you.

Now, I can hear all of your arguments right now and I’m just telling you this to keep you from going through some unnecessary changes.  You can do whatever you want to just to prove me wrong; but if I were you, I’d pay attention.  Ya see, I’ve walked down this road personally and I’ve been paying attention for a long time.

I said all of this stuff just to say this:  if you have 4 kids and no job and are a drug addict, then in order for you to marry that millionaire, you probably need to stop hanging around your old friends and find some millionaire friends.  Start talking to millionaires, researching millionaires, working around millionaires and doing those things that millionaires do.  Don’t hang at the car wash, go to the golf course.  Don’t hang at the dope house, hang at the airport.  Don’t sell crack; sell paper clips, computers or semiconductors.  Start developing those long lasting relationships that will endure the test of time with millionaires.

Even if a miracle happens and you meet a millionaire at the dope house; either the millionaire won't be interested in marrying a poor person OR they will eventually make a huge change and your millionaire will become a drug addict and lose the money.  Then he/she will no longer be your ideal mate.

Don’t lose your dream; BECOME your dream.  If you want to marry a whole person, you need to get busy and become a whole person.  Your friends are your reflection, so you need to BE the thing that you want to SEE in the mirror. If you want to marry a doctor, become a doctor.  If you want to marry lawyer, then become a lawyer.

If you don't want to live with a thug, then don't be a thug.

That image in the mirror is not etched in stone.
You CAN change it.

graphic from:
http://charleewith2es.blogspot.com/

There’s this “thing” that I’ve noticed and as your mother I need to bring it to your attention. I don’t really know how to approach the subject, so I’m just gonna jump in right here and . . . you can set me straight as we go. That’s what communication is all about. But remember, my theory is time-tested.

It’s like, I see ya’ll in photographs together and I can’t tell if you’re good friends or lovers.

It’s like, somebody convinced you that those sexually charged photos with one another are sexy.

It’s like, ya’ll really believed Snoop ‘nem so you pose together in explicit ways . . . holdin’ each other sexually with your tongues licking and stuff.

It’s like, you can’t see that those poses were designed by those who really only hope to exploit you in the worse way.

I know, I know, my lesbian daughters are gonna be mad; but ya’ll we gatta talk. So that I don’t confuse the issues or make folks get unnecessarily angry, let me qualify which daughters I’m talking to. Okay, if you’re homosexual, I’m not talking to you on this letter. But, feel no way ‘cause we got conversation too. For now, I’m talking to those women who hope to one day . . .

• Get married to a wonderful man
• Have a phenomenal career
• One day run for public office
• Preach the gospel
• Have wholesome heterosexual families complete with
• 2.5 children with a
• SUV with wood panels on the side with a
• House and white picket fence.

 Okay, see, now I gotta back up and re-qualify who and what I’m talking about again. If you’re a woman, I’m talkin’ to you.

Please stop taking the sexually charged photographs; heterosexual or homosexual; young or old; black, white, Asian; whatever. This is not the way you want to represent yourself in the future; and those photos are not going anywhere; well, actually, they’re going EVERYWHERE!

I understand. No I over stand. You don’t like momma for saying it; but I'ma need you to just gone and forego those photos and please stay off FaceBook with it. You can write me and fuss me out; but I’ma need you to just trust me this time . . . you’ll thank me later.

Luv ya much
Mom

graphic from
http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news/47631/gossip-girls-pose-for-naughty-rolling-stone-cover

Click here if you need music because this is a hard subject to ride on without music:  06 Hater Day. 

I watched the BET Awards show with Ashley the other day and was deeply disturbed about something I saw.

There was a male-female dance competition that started out friendly enough.  Terrance Howard talked smack to Taraji Henson and, of course, she responded to the challenge with even more smack; upping the ante.  Then they decided to meet on stage to see who could dance the best.  So far, everything is okay.

When they later met on the stage, Terrance Howard and his crew had on layers of common street clothes, while Taraji Henson and her all female crew showed up with the cutest little whore clothes you ever saw. 

All of them could really dance so that wasn’t the issue.  While those clothes were cute, them was still “ho” clothes.

I continued to watch the show as a parade of men came across the stage singing and dancing in street clothes with many layers or tuxedos while the display of female pageantry consisted of sexy sexy clothes or exotic bed clothes that only a woman’s husband should see her wearing!  Underwear:  panties, bras and stockings.

After the show, I left the house and as I drove around or shopped,  I noticed the same theme being played out in the “real world”.  The men have on layers and layers of clothes, but the women are close to naked; even in cold weather!

Okay ya’ll. . .  Why the women gotta have on ho clothes?  Whose idea was that? And why did we women buy into the idea?

I’m not talking about Jesus Christ, God or my old school flavor.  Even if God is not a part of your world, you should still be concerned about your health.  This behavior is unhealthy in many many ways.  Unhealthy for you, your children and your children’s children.  I’m talking about decency.  I am asking, what happened to make it okay for women . . . celebrities . . . beautiful women . . . everyday women  . . . my daughters . . . to wear those beautiful bed room clothes on the street, on the stage, on worldwide television?

I might feel differently if the men had on bed clothes too, but they don’t; which lets me know that ya’ll know, on some level, that this behavior is outrageous.  If it was okay, the men would be wearing that stuff too.

Sons,

I’m speechless.  My hands are in motion and my mouth is moving but no sound is coming out.  I am flabbergasted.    How did it get okay for you to try and turn all my daughters into hoochie mammas . . . skeezers!?  What makes that okay?  Ask yourself these few questions:

1. If all the men are pimps, what does that make all the women?
2. If all the women are whores, where does our society stand as a whole?

It’s a sad society that contains only pimps and hos.  That society won’t stand.  It will annihilate itself.  Your life is gonna be filed with baby mamma trauma and drama.  You will never have a family; just babies and babies’ mammas.  That’s not living!  That’s genocide.

Daughters,

When you get dressed to leave home, please cover the 3Bs.  Don’t leave any of these things exposed unless you want to have sex with the first man you see. 

3bs:  breast, belly, and butt.  Keep those treasurers for your husband.

I’m not saying you can’t look good.  There is a lot right with strutting your stuff and being as dynamic as you want to be.  Anybody that knows me, knows that I love beautiful clothes – so that’s not the issue. I am saying that men will use you for their short term pleasure.  They will get you to act like a prostitute so they can get your treasures (satisfy their momentary desire) and, if he’s any kind of man at all, when he’s ready to get married, he will find a woman who has kept her decency intact.  If he’s not “any kind of man at all”, then, you don’t want him.  Right?!

You don’t have to look like a prostitute to get a man or feel good about yourself.  Any man that openly and blatantly responds favoribly to a prostitute, is not the man that you want to father your children.  And yes, you want all of your children to have the same father if at all possible; and you want their father to live physically in the house with you and your children (if possible).  I know it sounds stupid to ya’ll but you need to trust me on this one.  Okay, don’t trust me, think about it and let’s talk.  Don’t take my word, do some research. Get back with me.

I luv you with my whole heart,

momma myrna